The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and chocolate

Stress. It happens to everyone, but it happens every day to someone with ADHD, particularly a child or adolescent. Somehow there is something that they do “wrong,” sometimes just by being thoughtless. Of course, a better description would be “thought-free” — his or her thoughts were not on what someone else was thinking, or might do, or might think. Nonetheless, it is considered rude, and the ADHD sufferer gets told that he is wrong just for being the way he is. The cause of just being born with ADHD, or just being born a prince in a dysfunctional family, cause a lot of Shakespearean suffering.

Most people come around to seeing that their weaknesses can be useful, or that their unvalued qualities can be strengths; the old “challenge/opportunity” dilemma. If you have ADHD, you might be able to hyper-focus on something — which could be good or bad. Good if it helps you perform in ever-changing environments, like an emergency room. Bad if you are 12 years old and stuck in a traditional classroom with a teacher lecturing you on something you are not interested in.

In an opinion piece in the LA Times by Robert M. Sapolsky, a noted neuroscientist at Stanford University, he links  stress to performance, or “cognitive load“. Learning new information, and making important decisions, are interrupted by stress.  His example is called “Rich Brain, Poor Brain.” He describes how the stress that affects poor people creates hardships that are just not as bad for people with comfortable income. A car problem: does it stop you in your tracks, as you decide what bill not to pay so that you can fix your car and get back on the road to work, or do you have a comfortable enough income that you can get the car taken care of while you continue with your regular routine? The stresses that poor people deal with interfere with their “regular routine” — worrying thoughts, i.e., stress, increase the number of things that they have to juggle.

Sapolsky describes a creative experiment done by Anandi Mani, testing people who will experience a great stress over money on their cognitive functions before and after the stressful time (harvesting a once-a-year crop). The farmers’ performance on the cognitive tests plummeted dramatically when they had not yet received their annual income. The conclusion is that worrying about money (being poor) increases the cognitive load — leaving less memory and attention to thinking and planning.

Try to think about anything else but these Lillie Belle Chocolates! http://www.lilliebellefarms.com/belle-of-the-berries-box-12/

Try to think about anything else but these Lillie Belle Chocolates! http://www.lilliebellefarms.com/belle-of-the-berries-box-12/

An excellent example involves chocolate! If you need to get something done, you are using your executive functions to plan, prioritize, and pull up ideas out of your memory. This happens, most neuroscientists think, in the pre-frontal cortex area of your brain. Well, you can’t remember everything all at once, obviously, so you juggle the current ideas in your working memory.

According to Sapolosky, “Extensive research shows that ‘frontal function’ is impaired in people who increase their cognitive load with such things as distracting tasks, stress, sleep deprivation, pain or even resisting temptation (for example, if you make someone’s front cortex work hard in order for them to resist eating chocolate, they are less capable immediately afterward of performing frontal cognitive tasks.)”

If (not) resisting chocolate is something you can relate to, then you can imagine how terrible it is to have stress caused by something bad: a punishment for not remembering an assignment, poor grades in school, knowing how angry your parents are going to be at you, and hatred for yourself for being “stupid.” Let’s increase our awareness of the stress that children with ADHD are going through, and find ways to reduce that stress, to give them a fairer chance to do their school work.

1,000 most (81) commonly (423) used (149) words (250) in (6) English (524)

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When writing, one way to check to see if a student’s work contains some original words is to see if they are NOT on this list: http://www.insightin.com/esl/1000.php

Truthfully, this brings up a deeper issue of personal originality. People who perceive themselves as “different from the mainstream” usually are (until they hit 35 years old). Many people find their identity in being different and unconventional. Some people with disabilities are so well-adjusted that they demand to be accepted as they are. I have been so impressed with the “Don’t Cure Autism Now” movement that came out as a response to the fundraising organization, “Cure Autism Now!” or CAN. http://winklett.com/about/jonahs-journey-a-journal-3272005-72808/dont-cure-autism-now-62806/ (This is an older blog post from 2006; I don’t know how to cite it correctly.).

Please let me clarify this — I’ve received a comment about it — I am not against research to understand autism, which is the basis of CAN’s work. (CAN is merged today with another organization, and they are called Autism Speaks.) What I admire about the “Don’t Cure Autism Now” is the sense of identity that some people with differences have. They don’t want to be “cured” — they want to be accepted as they are, and are comfortable being defined as “different” and not “neuro-typical”.

However, many people, especially adolescents, who have ADHD wish there was a cure for it. They wish there was a cure that did not mean taking medication for “it”. Having a disability means instantly not belonging to “normal”. Most kids fear this state of being. Particularly in early adolescence, they will do anything to fit in. We have witnessed dire consequences of this kind of thinking, such as taking drugs to fit in with a crowd — even a crowd a person is not really comfortable being in.

A more commonplace experience, though, is fitting in at school, which means (1) not asking questions, (2) not admitting that you don’t understand something, (3) not admitting that you have a learning difference, (4) never letting anyone know that you take medication, (5) not advocating for yourself when you have a 504 plan or IEP in place to support you, and the more than 1,000 variations on this theme of hiding your disability and suffering in silence.

An important process in dealing with ADHD — and any learning disability — is demystification. The family with a person who is different needs some help: the parents must mourn the child they thought they had, and embrace the one they do have. This wise saying has stayed with me for years, and I keep trying to spread it to as many parents as I can. Demystification means learn as much as you can about yourself as well as about a particular disability. Stop looking at it like an unpredictable monster. Start seeing what really is presenting itself. Find out… what is common about it! (I think the Don’t Cure Autism Now adherents also want to understand how their way of interpreting the world is *not* understood well by neuro-typical people. They help demystify the experience of autism by writing about it and sharing their understanding of themselves.)

Since I work with adolescents, I also see their burgeoning self-concepts develop, and they, too, need to know what a typical brain is like, what their brains are like, and how they can compensate when their atypicality interferes with success. Again, that is another, deeper conversation in itself.

But getting back to writing, which is so hard for people with ADHD to accomplish, be as original in your writing as you are in your person! Find some unusual, awkward, blurt-worthy words and use them in your sentences! Embrace that you’re not one of the 1,000 most common students, and thank the Lord/Creative Life Force for that!

Gifted Adults Can Have ADHD Too

GiftedAdultCoverThe Gifted Adult, by Mary-Elaine Jacobsen, Psy. D.  New York: Ballantine Books, 1999.

My motivation for reading this book was (1) personal – always nice to feel “gifted” and “special”; and (2) my consistent impression that the parents of the kids I work with are gifted, but may suffer from a case of ADHD or Strict Moral Upbringing or SBU (that’s my own acronym!) and feel their own unease coming out when they see their children struggling.

This book is incredibly pragmatic. It even includes a self-assessment that you can score.

But first of all, Ms. Jacobsen re-defines “intelligence”. Most adults grew up with the idea that IQ is a fixed number, and a fixed ability. Ms. Jacobsen widens the definition of intelligence to include several new facets – some that are a bit hard to define or quantify – but I think she does a good job.

She includes Gardner’s Multiple Intelligences (MI), critics be damned. While these are used a lot in elementary schools, they have not been seen as verifiable qualities that can be measured by most psychologists. Still, in an effort to help adults move past rigid ideas about their own intelligence, she includes questions on her survey to help them see new aspects of how they approach the world.

From there, she moves into the concepts of Intensity and Excitability, which she calls Gifted Traits (GT) (pp. 98-99). She includes descriptors for complexity and drive, too, which is necessary if you are going to get your ideas out in the world.

btw she loves acronyms, especially 2-letter acronyms.

The next section she calls Advanced Development (AD), which is quite nice in my opinion because she sees the desire to help others as a parted of the gifted personality. She loves making up “equations” such as:

AD = HV + MM + RA. These abbreviations stand for Advanced Development equals having a Humanistic Vision, a Mandated Mission, and a need to perform some Revolutionary Action.

All of these qualities of your interests, your proclivities, and your higher self are tabulated into your EvIQ, or Evolutionary IQ. She gets Evolutionary IQ from the notion of “evolve” – just as we evolve as a species, each individual evolves as we mature. We are able to have a vision and to take action once we are adults, in different ways than when we were born. Even if you like the idea of having a fixed IQ, you can see how you evolve your intellectual gifts into meaningful action through your work or your community involvement.IntegratedMindBody

She really sees this definition of IQ as one that changes over time. After you’ve answered qustions on her survey, you tally up your scores in the areas of Multiple Intelligences, Gifted Traits, and Advanced Development, for a single score, which is your “current level of Evolutionary Intelligence” (p. 108).

And then what? Let’s assume that if you are reading this blog, you have a high EvIQ. J She has positive suggestions about meeting / confronting the usual criticisms you’ll receive – either from yourself or from others, such as, “Why don’t you slow down?” and, “You’re so sensitive and dramatic!”

I really like her section on Intensity (pp. 258 – 267). She has a chart that shows the differences between extremes of intense behavior, and a balanced version of the same energy:

Collapsed

Exaggerated

Balanced

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Wired Exhilarated by life
Numbers out with substances Thrill seeker; addicted to excitement Frequent peaks of experience
Dodges controversy; steers toward popular opinion Intractable opinions; dominates conversations Engaging conversationalist; comfortable with intense discussion
Substitutes mindless banter for in-depth conversation Caustic; uses words as weapons Articulate; stimulating
Deprecates self as laughingstock Jokingly mocks and humiliates others Joyous; congenial
Cold and remote Doting and smothering Warm and caring

She gives advice on how to reclaim your true self, your gifted self, and to seek balance to find joy and meaning in your world – but not by hiding your gifts, stifling yourself, or repressing others.

She ends the book with information about how you interact with others – relationships and finally your place in society. I expect for many people this last phase involved a sense of intuitive spirituality. Even if that sort of thing turns you off, it is important to know that those questions of the meaning of your life, and the legacy of your life, will be important as you continue along this journey. I hope everyone can find his or her gifts, see how the intention and willingness to change and improve can turn into reality, and how much our society needs you to share your gifts.

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